Upfront and Impersonal

oh so quiet

2010-02-02T05:48:00.000-08:00

Pssst. Internets.
Been a while. remember me?

Two updates:
Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow.
and the Oscars gave me 10 nominated films.

2.010 what else do you have in store for me?

woke up for Nobel

2009-10-09T02:23:00.001-07:00

President Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize! OMG.
From Oslo:
http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/peace/laureates/2009/press.html

The Nobel Peace Prize for 2009

The Norwegian Nobel Committee has decided that the Nobel Peace Prize for 2009 is to be awarded to President Barack Obama for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples. The Committee has attached special importance to Obama's vision of and work for a world without nuclear weapons.

Obama has as President created a new climate in international politics. Multilateral diplomacy has regained a central position, with emphasis on the role that the United Nations and other international institutions can play. Dialogue and negotiations are preferred as instruments for resolving even the most difficult international conflicts. The vision of a world free from nuclear arms has powerfully stimulated disarmament and arms control negotiations. Thanks to Obama's initiative, the USA is now playing a more constructive role in meeting the great climatic challenges the world is confronting. Democracy and human rights are to be strengthened.

Only very rarely has a person to the same extent as Obama captured the world's attention and given its people hope for a better future. His diplomacy is founded in the concept that those who are to lead the world must do so on the basis of values and attitudes that are shared by the majority of the world's population.

For 108 years, the Norwegian Nobel Committee has sought to stimulate precisely that international policy and those attitudes for which Obama is now the world's leading spokesman. The Committee endorses Obama's appeal that "Now is the time for all of us to take our share of responsibility for a global response to global challenges."
Oslo, October 9, 2009

ps:
okay internutters: yes, feb. 1 was nomination deadline and Obama was only in office a few weeks but Oslo has exceptions to the process where the committee can add nominations after the deadline:
http://nobelpeaceprize.org/en_GB/nomination_committee/selection-process/

Pssst. Internets.

2009-09-15T19:38:00.000-07:00

For your consideration, a song for Fall:
[[-- Empire State of Mind -- Blueprint 3 -- Jay-Z featuring Alicia Keys]]
In New York,
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
Theres nothing you can’t do,
Now you’re in New York,
These streets will make you feel brand new,
The lights will inspire you,
Lets here it for New York, New York, New York

One hand in the air for the big city,
Street lights, big dreams all looking pretty,
No place in the World that can compare,
Put your lighters in the air, everybody say yeaaahh
Come on, come,
Yeah.
[[ i love this song. have hit replay like, 5 times. ]]
[[ More lyrics here ]]

Positively Bitter

2009-09-14T06:31:00.000-07:00

Lily Allen - Fuck You [Official Video] (Non Censuré)
Uploaded by Lily-Allen-Tv. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.

Regret to inform you...

2009-07-06T06:25:00.000-07:00

Psssst. Internets.
King of Pop died. Had you heard?

Also, i was NOT selected out of the millions who registered to attend the service.

Will quietly be moonwalking on my own that day in memory of MJ.

summer travel ideas

2009-06-24T07:20:00.000-07:00

Camping?
Cruise?
Road trip?
How about a road trip to Japan?
Google Maps can help you get there.
It will only take you 7,875 mi – about 35 days 3 hours -- from California to Japan.
Plus a kayak.
Click on "view larger map" below.

View Larger Map

KISS locally

2009-05-14T01:21:00.000-07:00

KISS :pyrotechnically local.

"That's the territory of his heart."

2009-05-13T17:51:00.000-07:00

my mother's day present to myself.
ah,maaaay,zing.

love bites

2009-04-20T20:29:00.000-07:00

Sexy peruvian him: (Pointing to tortilla chips)
"so when you put cheese on these they are called mochos?"

Me:
nachos. N A C H O S.

my dutiful laundrette

2009-04-20T20:11:00.000-07:00

laundromats are fundamental to my homewrecker (read: homemaker) duties.

my preferred establishment? launderosa.

i don't really ever switch it up. except for yesterday. it was hot here. so i switched to a laundromat near the bay.

big. mistake.
creepers, broken machines, and untidy all around.
didn't even compare in the slightest way to my beloved launderosa.

these guys know what i am talking about:
coin laundry association

i am yours

2009-04-10T13:48:00.001-07:00

An ocean’s garbled vomit on the shore
Los Angeles, I’m yours

sometimes i feel like a nut...

2009-03-23T19:54:00.001-07:00

number of emails i've received offering condolences:
7

number of calls/voicemails to check if i have heard the news:
3

number of calls/voicemails/emails to inquire whether or not my 20 year + obsession with letterman has now come to an end:
5

Psssst.... interwebs.
i am okay.
and i am still obsessed.

Under the rainbow

2009-03-16T21:35:00.000-07:00

I have been experiencing close encounters of the midget kind.
Midgets.
Dwarfs.
Little people.

Close encounter 1:
The republican carpool.
One of the middle schoolers I carpool around is a little person. My kidlette befriended Jane Doe Little Person (JDLP) over the summer, she had just moved to town and was about to enter the lion’s den aka junior high -- and my rock star daughter totally embraced this young lady’s sweet spirit and they became fast friends. JDLP dispelled any preconceptions I had about… republicans.

Close encounter 2:
Kidlette and I were at a yummy burger joint in Los Osos last week and there was a family of midgets at a table near us. Mom, Dad, little boy and toddler boy in a high chair. They were all little people. The boys had the most amazing blond curls, super cute!

An obnoxious pair of college students (both wearing Poly sweatshirts) sat at the table across from the family and the poly dolly leans across the table to her frat bf and says in a loud voice but shielding her face with the menu:
Dolly: “Like, I totally can’t eat if I have to stare at those people while I am eating! They make me sick to my stomach.”

Midget dad: looks over at her and starts laughing and shaking his head.

Polly dolly starts getting more obnoxious and saying how “gross” it is that people like them are allowed to have children, in the most high pitched squeaky voice. At this point the little toddler keeps turning around to see who is making all the racket, and the polly dolly finally gets up and moves.

The family got up and left, with the dad vibing the students as they walked out the door.

I wish I had said something before the family had left, but instead I went up to the polly dolly afterwords and said:
Me: “It’s ignorant sluts like you who make me sick to MY stomach. That sort of bigoted attitude makes you the ugliest person I have ever met.

Close encounter 3:
This morning I was at our uptown coffee shop reading the newspaper, when behind me I hear this man start to yell. Scream. Howl. Generally freaking the Shiite out of me. So this is one of those situations where the entire incident probably lasted like 3 seconds but it seemed like hours as it was unfolding.

My back is still turned to him, because I could tell that he was bat shit crazy, and if I drew any attention to him it could get worse. But then he starts talking. Scary Crazy talking:
“I’ve got my gun ready and I am going to blow your eyes out newspaper woman!” and so on and so forth.

So I look at the barristas because at this point they have stopped making drinks and are glancing towards the crazy man, with looks of not terror, but looks of complete befuddlement.

I look at the business guys sitting across from me and they too are looking over my shoulder towards bat shit crazy man…but NOT in an OMG we need to protect this woman from the man of terror, but rather looks of strained perplexity.

It is at this point I risk it all --- being shot in the head, tackled from behind, what have you, and just get up and turn and face my aggressor.

Um, well. He was a little person. A little mentally disturbed homeless little person. The moment I turned to face him, he walked out the door not saying a word.

My heart sank to my shoes, and I felt so bad for him. I thought about him most the day. Wondering what his story was, hoping he makes it through the crazy.

links:
:: one of my favorite wizard of oz related movies: under the rainbow
:: love under 3ft
:: short stature support

Universal consolation

2009-02-07T06:32:00.000-08:00

did i mention i got a consolation prize from letterman? tickets to universal studios. i think it was an ironic gag from the letterman show, since universal is jay leno's turf...

but, kidlette and i are headed there this morning...and by "there" i really mean my "childhood."

last time i was at universal studios?
when the JAWS ride opened.
J A W S.
As in the epic movie.
30+ years ago.

my cousins, aunt, twinny sister, and i stood in line overnight to be one of the first to ride the tram. i think i was little...like 5 years-old.

so i am revisiting my childhood. what are you up to today?

I heart NYC

2009-02-04T08:15:00.000-08:00

Update: i got the trivia question wrong. WRONG! i got the question wrong!!!!!!

guess what?
i won a trip to see the david letterman show.

yep. flying to NYC saturday - seeing the show on monday.

AAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!

I.am.so.freaking.out.

oh es see aye are (OSCAR)

2009-01-22T05:15:00.000-08:00

morning.

it's me, live blogging oscar nominations.

5:21am
issues with the live stream.

5:31am
bbc news rocks...

5:34am
waiting....feeling the anticipation!

5:37:am
forest whitaker is going to read the nominations...one minute countdown!

5:40am
sid ganis and forest on stage.

... best actress wow!
... best actor... heath is there

... anne hathaway!
... mickey is on the list!
... they love slum and benjamin
... happy go lucky and in bruge get screenplay shout outs
...foreign films...didn't see any of them
... best pics...benjamin; frost; milk (yes); reader; and slum ( i smell me a little movie that could)

and end.

afterthoughts:
:: slum dog got nominated for two best songs...so cool. i loved the music in this film.
:: okay, brad and angie both nominated this year? why hollywood loves these two so much :is beyond me.
:: benjamin button best make-up? huh? wasn't that all cgi computer tricks?
:: trouble the water got a nod though...so happy about that.

FULL LIST of nominations:

Nominees for the 81st Academy Awards

Performance by an actor in a leading role

Richard Jenkins in “The Visitor” (Overture Films)
Frank Langella in “Frost/Nixon” (Universal)
Sean Penn in “Milk” (Focus Features)
Brad Pitt in “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.)
Mickey Rourke in “The Wrestler” (Fox Searchlight)

Performance by an actor in a supporting role

Josh Brolin in “Milk” (Focus Features)
Robert Downey Jr. in “Tropic Thunder” (DreamWorks, Distributed by DreamWorks/Paramount)
Philip Seymour Hoffman in “Doubt” (Miramax)
Heath Ledger in “The Dark Knight” (Warner Bros.)
Michael Shannon in “Revolutionary Road” (DreamWorks, Distributed by Paramount Vantage)

Performance by an actress in a leading role

Anne Hathaway in “Rachel Getting Married” (Sony Pictures Classics)
Angelina Jolie in “Changeling” (Universal)
Melissa Leo in “Frozen River” (Sony Pictures Classics)
Meryl Streep in “Doubt” (Miramax)
Kate Winslet in “The Reader” (The Weinstein Company)

Performance by an actress in a supporting role

Amy Adams in “Doubt” (Miramax)
Penélope Cruz in “Vicky Cristina Barcelona” (The Weinstein Company)
Viola Davis in “Doubt” (Miramax)
Taraji P. Henson in “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.)
Marisa Tomei in “The Wrestler” (Fox Searchlight)

Best animated feature film of the year

“Bolt” (Walt Disney), Chris Williams and Byron Howard
“Kung Fu Panda” (DreamWorks Animation, Distributed by Paramount), John Stevenson and Mark Osborne
“WALL-E” (Walt Disney), Andrew Stanton

Achievement in art direction

“Changeling” (Universal), Art Direction: James J. Murakami, Set Decoration: Gary Fettis
“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.), Art Direction: Donald Graham Burt, Set Decoration: Victor J. Zolfo
“The Dark Knight” (Warner Bros.), Art Direction: Nathan Crowley, Set Decoration: Peter Lando
“The Duchess” (Paramount Vantage, Pathé and BBC Films), Art Direction: Michael Carlin, Set Decoration: Rebecca Alleway
“Revolutionary Road” (DreamWorks, Distributed by Paramount Vantage), Art Direction: Kristi Zea, Set Decoration: Debra Schutt

Achievement in cinematography

“Changeling” (Universal), Tom Stern
“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.), Claudio Miranda
“The Dark Knight” (Warner Bros.), Wally Pfister
“The Reader” (The Weinstein Company), Chris Menges and Roger Deakins
“Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight), Anthony Dod Mantle

Achievement in costume design

“Australia” (20th Century Fox), Catherine Martin
“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.), Jacqueline West
“The Duchess” (Paramount Vantage, Pathé and BBC Films), Michael O’Connor
“Milk” (Focus Features), Danny Glicker
“Revolutionary Road” (DreamWorks, Distributed by Paramount Vantage), Albert Wolsky

Achievement in directing

“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.), David Fincher
“Frost/Nixon” (Universal), Ron Howard
“Milk” (Focus Features), Gus Van Sant
“The Reader” (The Weinstein Company), Stephen Daldry
“Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight), Danny Boyle

Best documentary feature

“The Betrayal (Nerakhoon)” (Cinema Guild), A Pandinlao Films Production, Ellen Kuras and Thavisouk Phrasavath
“Encounters at the End of the World” (THINKFilm and Image Entertainment), A Creative Differences Production, Werner Herzog and Henry Kaiser
“The Garden” A Black Valley Films Production, Scott Hamilton Kennedy
“Man on Wire” (Magnolia Pictures), A Wall to Wall Production, James Marsh and Simon Chinn
“Trouble the Water” (Zeitgeist Films), An Elsewhere Films Production, Tia Lessin and Carl Deal

Best documentary short subject

“The Conscience of Nhem En” A Farallon Films Production, Steven Okazaki
“The Final Inch” A Vermilion Films Production, Irene Taylor Brodsky and Tom Grant
“Smile Pinki” A Principe Production, Megan Mylan
“The Witness - From the Balcony of Room 306” A Rock Paper Scissors Production, Adam Pertofsky and Margaret Hyde

Achievement in film editing

“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.), Kirk Baxter and Angus Wall
“The Dark Knight” (Warner Bros.), Lee Smith
“Frost/Nixon” (Universal), Mike Hill and Dan Hanley
“Milk” (Focus Features), Elliot Graham
“Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight), Chris Dickens

Best foreign language film of the year

“The Baader Meinhof Complex” A Constantin Film Production, Germany
“The Class” (Sony Pictures Classics), A Haut et Court Production, France
“Departures” (Regent Releasing), A Departures Film Partners Production, Japan
“Revanche” (Janus Films), A Prisma Film/Fernseh Production, Austria
“Waltz with Bashir” (Sony Pictures Classics), A Bridgit Folman Film Gang Production, Israel

Achievement in makeup

“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.), Greg Cannom
“The Dark Knight” (Warner Bros.), John Caglione, Jr. and Conor O’Sullivan
“Hellboy II: The Golden Army” (Universal), Mike Elizalde and Thom Floutz

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score)

“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.),Alexandre Desplat
“Defiance” (Paramount Vantage), James Newton Howard
“Milk” (Focus Features), Danny Elfman
“Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight), A.R. Rahman
“WALL-E” (Walt Disney), Thomas Newman

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)

“Down to Earth” from “WALL-E” (Walt Disney), Music by Peter Gabriel and Thomas Newman, Lyric by Peter Gabriel
“Jai Ho” from “Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight), Music by A.R. Rahman, Lyric by Gulzar
“O Saya” from “Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight), Music and Lyric by A.R. Rahman andMaya Arulpragasam

Best motion picture of the year

“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.), A Kennedy/Marshall Production, Kathleen Kennedy, Frank Marshall and Ceán Chaffin, Producers
“Frost/Nixon” (Universal), A Universal Pictures, Imagine Entertainment and Working Title Production,Brian Grazer, Ron Howard and Eric Fellner, Producers
“Milk” (Focus Features), A Groundswell and Jinks/Cohen Company Production, Dan Jinks and Bruce Cohen, Producers
“The Reader” (The Weinstein Company), A Mirage Enterprises and Neunte Babelsberg Film GmbH Production, Nominees to be determined
“Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight), A Celador Films Production,Christian Colson, Producer

Best animated short film

“La Maison en Petits Cubes” A Robot Communications Production, Kunio Kato
“Lavatory - Lovestory” A Melnitsa Animation Studio and CTB Film Company Production, Konstantin Bronzit
“Oktapodi” (Talantis Films) A Gobelins, L’école de l’image Production, Emud Mokhberi and Thierry Marchand
“Presto” (Walt Disney) A Pixar Animation Studios Production, Doug Sweetland
“This Way Up”, A Nexus Production, Alan Smith and Adam Foulkes

Best live action short film

“Auf der Strecke (On the Line)” (Hamburg Shortfilmagency), An Academy of Media Arts Cologne Production, Reto Caffi
“Manon on the Asphalt” (La Luna Productions), A La Luna Production, Elizabeth Marre and Olivier Pont
“New Boy” (Network Ireland Television), A Zanzibar Films Production, Steph Green and Tamara Anghie
“The Pig” An M & M Production, Tivi Magnusson and Dorte Høgh
“Spielzeugland (Toyland)” A Mephisto Film Production, Jochen Alexander Freydank

Achievement in sound editing

“The Dark Knight” (Warner Bros.), Richard King
“Iron Man” (Paramount and Marvel Entertainment), Frank Eulner and Christopher Boyes
“Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight), Tom Sayers
“WALL-E” (Walt Disney), Ben Burtt and Matthew Wood
“Wanted” (Universal),Wylie Stateman

Achievement in sound mixing

“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.), David Parker, Michael Semanick, Ren Klyce and Mark Weingarten
“The Dark Knight” (Warner Bros.), Lora Hirschberg, Gary Rizzo and Ed Novick
“Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight), Ian Tapp, Richard Pryke and Resul Pookutty
“WALL-E” (Walt Disney),Tom Myers, Michael Semanick and Ben Burtt
“Wanted” (Universal), Chris Jenkins, Frank A. Montaño and Petr Forejt

Achievement in visual effects

“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.), Eric Barba, Steve Preeg, Burt Dalton and Craig Barron
“The Dark Knight” (Warner Bros.), Nick Davis, Chris Corbould, Tim Webber and Paul Franklin
“Iron Man” (Paramount and Marvel Entertainment), John Nelson, Ben Snow, Dan Sudick and Shane Mahan

Adapted screenplay

“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.), Screenplay by Eric Roth, Screen story by Eric Roth and Robin Swicord
“Doubt” (Miramax), Written by John Patrick Shanley
“Frost/Nixon” (Universal), Screenplay by Peter Morgan
“The Reader” (The Weinstein Company), Screenplay by David Hare
“Slumdog Millionaire” (Fox Searchlight), Screenplay by Simon Beaufoy

Original screenplay

“Frozen River” (Sony Pictures Classics), Written by Courtney Hunt
“Happy-Go-Lucky” (Miramax), Written by Mike Leigh
“In Bruges” (Focus Features), Written by Martin McDonagh
“Milk” (Focus Features), Written by Dustin Lance Black
“WALL-E” (Walt Disney), Screenplay by Andrew Stanton, Jim Reardon, Original story by Andrew Stanton, Pete Docter

O B A M A

2009-01-20T10:02:00.000-08:00

Dear Blog, it's me regret.

2008-12-26T21:24:00.000-08:00

Did you know that regret rhymes with Arquette.
And when i say Arquette, i mean Rosanna Arquette.
Yes that one.
The one who starred in Desperately Seeking Susan. The movie that changed my entire teenaged life. The movie that catapulted me into my 80s new wave persona that i have never managed to let go of - like EVER.

I met Rosanna today. (read: i stalked her)

Kidlette and i were seated at the counter of our local gaudy coffee shop and there she was.
Eating.
Eating and being surly to the waitress while at the same time doting on her daughter and trying to be casual with the simple real-world town folk.

I FREAKED THE FUCK OUT.
Oh.
My.
God.
Rosanna Arquette!!! Sitting, eating at the ... wait for it... Madonna Inn. (as in the kitschy Hotel...not the 80s icon Madonna who co-starred with her in the epic film...but holy sister choney, how fabulously ironic!!!)

So i am trying to hold it together and like a National Geographic special, I just gazed at her … so unreal!! There she was.
Meet you all the way, meet you all the way, rosannnnnuh
So I have regrets.
I regret not trying to get a picture of her
I regret not trying to talk to her
I regret losing the fake pyramid jacket from the movie my granny recreated for me
I regret that the 80s are totally over

Oh the regret!!!!

Glib Globes

2008-12-11T06:48:00.000-08:00

tom? tom cruise?

mr. Scientology was nominated with a golden globe in the category for...
ready?

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE

i predict a very glib 2009.

fight the H8 with love

2008-12-10T06:53:00.000-08:00

day without a gay
share the love people.

12/11/08: update
calling in gay? fizzled.
:(

Pop Quiz

2008-12-02T05:42:00.000-08:00

Q: I spent my thanksgiving with…
A) Family

B) Dolts

C) Transgendered Vietnam Vet

D) All of the above

Q: If y = -3 csc(4x) then y'(0) =
A ) -12

B) -48

C) 0

D) 23

E) Running into former lover and his wife at the Arclight

Q: Teen flicks about vampires in love are…
A) my “brand of heroin”

B) “a softened, hackneyed horror show of synthetic affection” for non-teens

C) just another example of how mormons are the new scientologists

D) they were vampires? I thought it was a rerun of Punky Brewster

E) A means to escape and tune out crazy family situations

our lady...

2008-11-23T08:10:00.000-08:00

been in E.LosAngeles for 6 days trying to help my elderly grandparents find a nursing home to move to. here are the highlights:
:: breakfast at the VFW, as well as lunch, and oh boy, dinner!
:: vietnam cholo vet at the VFW asking me to marry him while grabbing at my rack
:: my grandpa smacking vietnam cholo vet with his cane
:: 5 sleepless nights trying to convince my gramps that the house is not shaking, it is he who is shaking
:: finding out my greedy aunt established a trust for my grandparents where she is the beneficiary and their assets can't go to their care now. MOTHER FUCKER.
:: taking my grandma to church where she started washing herself in the holy water. (she has alzheimer's)
:: escaping to olvera street for taquitos and bringing back philippe's for my gramps.

reinforcements are on their way (my sister, bro-in-law, and my kidlette)

hoping all works out for my grandparents. thanks for your kind thoughts!

They're grrreat!

2008-11-09T20:00:00.000-08:00

Great Cereals Time Line

Strange fascination, fascinating me. Changes are taking the pace Im going through

2008-11-04T04:34:00.000-08:00

top laugh

2008-10-28T03:31:00.000-07:00

simple little song.
simple little graphics.

but left a big impression.

i think this is exactly how i imagine all the little moments my kidlette and i have together.

last day...

2008-10-20T07:00:00.000-07:00

to register to vote is today!!! (Oct. 20th)

Info here.

and here.

Take Me On...

2008-10-08T20:23:00.000-07:00

Literally.
A-Ha’s “Take On Me” video which notes exactly what’s happening frame by 80s frame.

click. double click. right click.

2008-09-25T04:18:00.000-07:00

little bits for your clicking pleasure:

:: filled with regret that you coasted through junior college, taking and retaking "basket weaving 101?"

well you shouldn't be.

Psssst. regret. meet Mary Jackson:
charleston native who just won a MacArthur Foundation’s annual genius grant for... BASKET WEAVING.

:: "the economy is about to crater" dave. dave letterman. please. run. for. president.

psa (public service announcement)

2008-09-19T03:48:00.000-07:00

Time wounds all heals.

mormon pride and my prejudice

2008-09-14T20:08:00.000-07:00

dear youtube,
first, i just want to say i am like, so your biggest fan.

i want to tell everybody how totally rad you are.
and by rad, i really mean bat shit crazy.

how else could i benefit from your platitudeness of the mormon reworkings of jane austen?

7 year itch

2008-09-11T05:43:00.000-07:00

encounter by czeslaw milosz

we were riding through frozen fields in a wagon at dawn.
a red wing rose in the darkness.

and suddenly a hare ran across the road.
one of us pointed to it with his hand.

that was long ago. Today neither of them is alive,
not the hare, nor the man who made the gesture.

o my love, where are they, where are they going
the flash of a hand, streak of movement, rustle of pebbles.
I ask not out of sorrow, but in wonder.

7 years later, i think our country is still grieving.
no one knows quite what to do,
yet everyone knows what to do.
where are we going.
more sorrow than question.

Junior High: What's out, What's in

2008-08-29T05:23:00.000-07:00

Out: NPR playing on our drive to school (sadness)
In: katy perry CD playing on our drive to school (ugh.)

Out: sack lunch
In: cafeteria food

Out: attitude
In: ambivalence

Out: memorizing schedule
In: writing schedule on fingernails (refer to pic)

Out: bedhead
In: perfectly flat ironed hair

Out: acne
In: zits

Out: backpacks
In: glittery side bags

Out: hello kitty
In: power rangers

Out: hysterically funny voicemails on our answering machine from 6th grade boys
In: terrifying moments in the hallways as 8th graders stop my 7th grade kidlette to tell her they "like" her*

*this news prompted me to have "the talk" with her and to lay down the law. OMG!

my position?

2008-08-26T20:43:00.000-07:00

currently remaining seated.

In Memory

2008-08-15T12:21:00.000-07:00

H O W A R D L O U I S

youngest son of chinese pioneer, Ah Louis

august 5, 1908 - august 15, 2008

he lived to see 100.

more about him here

and his family here

he and my kidlette were very close and we spent many hours hearing about his life and his funny advice for life.

we miss him with all our hearts.

i interrupt this blogcast to bring you an important flashback from the 80s

2008-08-15T05:46:00.000-07:00

i give you:
the F L I R TS.
They were like the lady version of menudo.

the song that got me through 7th grade?
D A N G ER.

some may argue that their song, ''don't put another dime in the juke box" is their signature song, but anyone who was clubbing in the 80s in east LA knows that their single, Danger was the BOMB.

tan legos del corazón...

2008-08-13T06:14:00.000-07:00

i have been remembering odd things from my childhood lately.

usually around dawn..half awake half dreaming.

i've been having memories of my abuelo who passed away last year.
i miss him lots.

he would always end our visits or talks on the phone with:
"cuando legos de ojo, tan legos del corazón" -- when far from sight, far from heart.
one thing i remembered this morning was this lamp that used to hang in his living room:

when i was little it was so magical! it had these little rain beads that rippled up and down. i would stare and stare at it trying to figure out how it worked.

one day i piled some books on top of a chair and reached up and grabbed at the rain beads. when i looked at my hand it was covered in oil and the stream of rain now was dripping a new course from the lamp right onto my gringa grandma's shag off-white carpet.
OOPS!

my abuelo was a cop for LAPD and his beat was el segundo -- aka LAX (the airport)
he would bring home really cool things.
mini-cans of shasta soda.
extra salty mini bags of peanuts.
and crazy weirdly preserved snack trays.

everything was mini. but his heart was huge.

H O L I D A Y

2008-08-03T18:02:00.000-07:00

On our way to a remote coastal lighthouse for 9 days.
No phones.
No interwebs.

Just ocean, books, shells, pebbles, sand, and sun. I will be sure and send you a postcard.

If we took a holiday
Took some time to celebrate
Just one day out of life
It would be, it would be so nice

Fine tuning my inner dork

2008-07-31T15:43:00.000-07:00

Stacey Q. Anyone? Anyone?
Here is a reminder.
I MET HER. in person. at a random Starbucks in my own little podunk town.

she was in front of me in line and when she ordered and i heard her voice, i had this weird flashback to the 80s. and when it dawned on me who she was --- i totally TOTALLY FREAKED the fuck out and totally called her on her 80s shit.

she was nice about it, and was polite enough to shoot the shit with me the entire time i waited for my large (notice i didn't use "Venti") no-foam latte.

observation #1: looks exactly the same. exactly.

observation #2: i think she hasn't eaten since the 80s.

facto #1: still in the music biz.

facto #2: she told me that she wrote ALL of her lyrics.

matter of fact: pop princess? no, Pop QUEEN.

make me care

2008-07-14T08:47:00.001-07:00

they care enough to levitate while shopping.

somebody cares about the 1980s.

he cared about reel-to-reel and john lennon. it went like this.

notey bits left behind, because they could care less.

you care. because he cares.

oh critters. nobody cares.

zikes! holy mary mary mother contrary

2008-06-25T19:56:00.000-07:00

Unsolicited advice from wicked, wicked,wicked mothers.
:: candy cigarettes
When your daughter's summer camp leader calls to tell you about your daughter purchasing candy cigarettes during a field trip, [which i guess is a bad thing] don't volunteer the fact that you are totally 'cool' with that shizzle and that it is 'no probs' because you already bought her a pack because you thought they would soon be a collectors item.

:: squeaky toddler shoes
When some batshit crazy yuppie mom at Barnes and Noble walks by with her toddler in tow, wait, yes WAIT to express just how FUCKING annoying her little kid's squeaky shoes are until they are clearly far enough away as to not overhear you.

end of days?

2008-06-20T12:48:00.001-07:00

regrets

2008-06-05T04:43:00.000-07:00

that i was too old for fraggle rock

that i am neither a sports fan nor a fan of icecream, but that has been remedied

that i wasn't a rock star in 7th grade

somebody loves me...

2008-06-04T15:55:00.000-07:00

sometimes hard work brings nice rewards. TLM (the latino museum) wants to meet with me.

yes, me.

they want to use my LA-based exhibition concept as one of their inaugural exhibitions.

viva!

viva!!

viva!!!

The Sound and the Machiavelli...

2008-05-29T18:21:00.000-07:00

:: beat this.

:: translate this.

caution: jazz hands

2008-05-29T17:51:00.000-07:00

inappropriate things are happening in the world. yes. they are. right now as you are reading this.

:|: caught in the act :|:
crotch inappropriateness

:|: the effin' bitch song :|:
not appropriate for the elderly, young, or your colleagues.

Disclaimer:
:: NOT APPROPRIATE FOR THE WORKPLACE ENVIRONMENT ::

please click here to find the effin' bitch song by everyone's favorite diva, avari.
(rhymes with Atari)

question

2008-05-20T21:10:00.000-07:00

Q: whatever happened to dan quayle?
yes, THAT dan quayle.

A: apparently he has started his own museum.
"From indispensable patriots to infamous traitors, the Dan Quayle Vice Presidential Museum is the place to discover the unique stories of each man who has ever held our nation's second most powerful office."

Um. dude. total, total, nutter.

Some quayle quotes for your enjoyment:
:: "Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."

:: "The other day [the President] said, I know you've had some rough times, and I want to do something that will show the nation what faith that I have in you, in your maturity and sense of responsibility. (He paused, then said) Would you like a puppy?"

How to be...

2008-05-20T04:59:00.000-07:00

:: how to be a queen = Leftovers!

:: how to be a good homemaker = accessories

:: how to be at peace with absent mindedness = Phone your Phone!

people abhorring/ adoring people

2008-05-09T05:22:00.000-07:00

Conspiracy one:
i think I am being profiled by the police.
No.
Really.
I am one of those profile cases.

Case in point:
I made an absolutely 100% illegal u-turn right in front of a police officer on a motorbike…
And what happened?
Nothing.
Nothing, nothing, and nothing.

Just because I drive a mini-van doesn’t mean you can profile me as a non-threatening soccer mom and NOT PULL ME OVER.

Conspiracy two:
Um, so can enlightenment ever be reached if someone has neglected to return the Buddhist magazines borrowed well over 2 years ago?

Musings

2008-05-01T00:16:00.000-07:00

Have a fear of museums? Spastic school children on field trips too much for you?

Well the internet wants to help you by providing for your virtual pleasure:
Museums you can enjoy without having to move your ass out of your chair.

Ever wonder what Burt Reynolds fans are up to? Please visit:
The Burt Reynolds Museum

Like me, did you wake up this morning and mutter to yourself: “Gee, I wish there was a museum where I could view Scientifically Accurate Fabric Brain Art.”

Ask, and you shall receive:
The Museum of Scientifically Accurate Fabric Brain Art.

Museum for the brokenhearted:
Weird bits of "it's not you, it's me"

Exhibit A

2008-04-30T22:22:00.000-07:00

I collect things.
Lots
And
Lots
Of
Things.

I feel justified in my habits.
Collected bits you should take a look at:

:: Miss those track suits from the 70s and 80s?
--> Slip this on for size: Trackies

:: Pocket protectors? They are all the rage this spring
--> "I'm not just a collector, I am also a wearer."

:: Got a hankering to create your own collection?
--> TATE modern wants to feed your soul:

:: One of those bits that I invented in my imagination but never got any further with…
--> collections of Thrift store Art

:: the gallery of cereal boxes
--> you will never look at morning the same.

And...
:: Skaters immortalized through lamination and now available on the interwebs:
--> Let us now document our nation's Skater IDs

Knockity knock knock

2008-04-17T04:50:00.000-07:00

knock knock?
who's there?
spastic.

knock knock?
who's there?
super good

knock knock?
who's there?
super weird

knock knock?
who's there?
super duper

knock knock?
who's there?
super fluff

quote

2008-04-05T23:39:00.000-07:00

“Mr. Clinton, sir, America didn’t trust you with our health care system.
America didn’t trust you with gays in the military.
America doesn’t trust you with our 21-year-old daughters,
and we sure, Lord, don’t trust you with our guns.”
--Charlton Heston
In his speech at the association’s convention before his election, he trained his oratorical artillery on President Bill Clinton’s White House.

(not that i agree with mr. heston's sentiments, but mother effer, that is a damn good quote.)

The janitor HATES me.

2008-03-28T05:26:00.000-07:00

Hate is a strong word, I know. But the alternatives don’t seem to fit:
dislike.
abhor.
detest.
loathe.

I keeping asking myself, WHY.

Why does the janitor hate me?

:: Is it because I use the title ‘janitor?’ What should I call her instead?
custodian?
sanitation engineer?
(In my own defense I still use ‘stewardess’ instead of ‘flight attendant.’ I think it is a nervous tick.)

:: Is it because of the loose styrofoam peanuts in the recycling?
IT. WASN’T. ME.

:: Is it because the staff toilet room always smells like poo?
IT. WASN’T. ME.

I always say hello.
I clean up my dishes in the sink right away.
I try to be tidy.
I even accidentally dropped the entire contents of a bag of Doritos on the floor… and quickly swept up every crumb.

Sigh.

speech

2008-03-18T21:33:00.000-07:00

my hero.

when the hyphen disappears...

2008-03-06T05:48:00.000-08:00

"I’ve always been interested in when the hyphen disappears —
you know... actor-waiter, cabdriver-writer -- and you have to settle for who you are.”
:: author Richard Price

I am in the early stages of removing that hyphen myself. Will let you know what i discover.

High Times

2008-02-28T06:00:00.000-08:00

Pssst. Poppets. Ready for a conspiracy?
what.is.up.with.the.solar.system?

So like, now there are 11 planets in our solar system. What up? I didn't get the memo on that one.

I knew that there was that little incident with pluto a little while back, (you, know how they nixed him as a planet) but how did we get to 11?

In order of increasing distance from the sun, they are:
Mercury,
Venus,
Earth,
Mars,
Ceres,
Jupiter,
Saturn,
Uranus,
Neptune,
Pluto and
Eris.
Ceres, Pluto and Eris are considered dwarf planets.

Like. OMG, there was even a planetary mnemonic contest held. The winner?

"My Very Exciting Magic Carpet Just Sailed Under Nine Palace Elephants."

And internets, you might want to get that barf bag ready:
There is also going to be a song by Lisa Loeb, using the aforementioned mnemonic as the lyrics.

And by the by, who comes up with the names of these new planets? Eris? This is the goddess of strife and discord. For fucks sake, the damn orb already has a complex with being labeled a "dwarf." Can we get a little compassion? Pluto actually has a cool story behind its name.

And lastly, there is the confusion.
Nine? Eight?
Eleven? Twelve? I think the web needs clarity people.

C L A R I T Y.

oscars were "swell"

2008-02-25T07:15:00.000-08:00

oscar highlights for me:
:: gary busey and his sociopathness on the red carpet.

:: marion cotillard winning best actress (loved her speech: "it is true there are angels in this city." i saw this movie 4 times at the palm. THE BEST OF 2007.

:: my peeps glen and marketa winning the oscar for best original song...it seems like just yesterday when i saw them last...(please refer to photo)

:: best highlight? um, my kidlette WON THE OSCAR POOL!!! seriously, she is a better investment than my mutual funds.

everybody hurts...

2008-02-21T21:39:00.000-08:00

hello poppets.

i've been neglectful. let me share some bits for you to make up for lost time:

:: have you ever fucked up? i mean really fucked up?
fucked up so bad you never saw it coming? stone cold fox and virtuoso David Garrett, fucked up. he tripped and smashed his 290-year-old Stradivarius to bits. to B I T S!

:: visited 'camp snoopy' aka california men's colony...
aka P R I S O N.
---was invited to a private performance of the London Shakespeare Workout Prison Project. i have to say i went in a little apprehensive and wondering why my tax dollars were being used to entertain felons ...

BUT was completely blown away by the prison talent. these guys put everything they had into their performances. never once breaking from their character. the LA Times covered it, read more...here.

i know this sounds so cliché, but these guys were in a lot of pain. you could see it in their performances. there were genuine tears.

was it regret? remorse? respect? i think it was rehabilitation working it's magic. even one of the guards said something similar. that in the yard these men self-segregate by race, or gang...in the play they were colleagues.

as i was leaving one of the men stopped me and shook my hand and said:
"thank you for trusting us."

:: there are more bits i could share, like stuff and stuff. but let's not go there shall we?

voter transactions

2008-02-05T07:07:00.000-08:00

me: (at voting booth, TRYing to vote)

kidlette: "mommy, do you think george bush is packing his bags?"

me: laughing hysterically.

h e r o e s

2008-02-01T03:30:00.000-08:00

so last night i sat down with one of my heroes in the art/illustration/journaling world.

W H O?

internets, i got to hang with my hobo artist hero!

Mr. Price is biking his way along the coast and stopped into my little coastal paradise. what a joy and wickedly cool moment for me!!! (oh and how cool was his pal mr. gregory?)

Mr. Price doesn't travel by emissions, and thus bikes through life. he showed me some of his internets links of artists he likes:
this guy

and

this guy

then our mutual friend linked to
this guy

i am still like, wow.

w o w is all i got right now.

how about some other esoteric questions and links?
i give you:

:: is it cheeseburger in a can? does anyone speak german?
w h a t is it?

:: need to survive on the moon? go here.

:: all the supernatural news that is fit to print.

:: not sure how to explain this one. anyone? anyone?

:: and just because he has been on my mind a lot lately:
i give you tiny tim.

80th Oscar Nominees List

2008-01-22T05:50:00.000-08:00

80th Academy Awards: the announcements were just made!!!

SO MANY SURPRISES!
my thoughts on some of the bits:
1. spot-on for Marion Cotillard in "La Vie en Rose" SHE WAS FABULOUS!

2. Little girl in Atonement, Saoirse Ronan - she was INTENSE

3. Juno for best original screenplay, eh...what evs. Diablo CROTCHY? one-hit wonder.

4. Casey Affleck in "The Assassination of Jesse James" so well DESERVED.

5. the Romanian movie, 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days - was ROBBED! it was not nominated in best foreign film. I guess hollywood can accommodate a film like juno but not a film that has a real take on abortion. LAME.

Announced Categories
Performance by an actor in a leading role

George Clooney in "Michael Clayton"
Daniel Day-Lewis in "There Will Be Blood"
Johnny Depp in "Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street"
Tommy Lee Jones in "In the Valley of Elah"
Viggo Mortensen in "Eastern Promises"

Performance by an actor in a supporting role

Casey Affleck in "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford"
Javier Bardem in "No Country for Old Men"
Philip Seymour Hoffman in "Charlie Wilson's War"
Hal Holbrook in "Into the Wild"
Tom Wilkinson in "Michael Clayton"

Performance by an actress in a leading role

Cate Blanchett in "Elizabeth: The Golden Age"
Julie Christie in "Away from Her"
Marion Cotillard in "La Vie en Rose"
Laura Linney in "The Savages"
Ellen Page in "Juno"

Performance by an actress in a supporting role

Cate Blanchett in "I'm Not There"
Ruby Dee in "American Gangster"
Saoirse Ronan in "Atonement"
Amy Ryan in "Gone Baby Gone"
Tilda Swinton in "Michael Clayton"

Best animated feature film of the year

"Persepolis" (Sony Pictures Classics): Marjane Satrapi and Vincent Paronnaud
"Ratatouille" (Walt Disney): Brad Bird
"Surf's Up" (Sony Pictures Releasing): Ash Brannon and Chris Buck

Achievement in art direction

"American Gangster"
"Atonement"
"The Golden Compass"
"Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street"
"There Will Be Blood"

Achievement in cinematography

"The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford"
"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly"
"No Country for Old Men"
"There Will Be Blood"

Achievement in directing

"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" (Miramax/Pathé Renn), Julian Schnabel
"Juno" (Fox Searchlight), Jason Reitman
"Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.), Tony Gilroy
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage), Joel Coen and Ethan Coen
"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax), Paul Thomas Anderson

Best documentary feature

"No End in Sight"
"Operation Homecoming: Writing the Wartime Experience"
"Sicko": Michael Moore and Meghan O'Hara
"Taxi to the Dark Side"
"War/Dance"

Best documentary short subject

"Freeheld" A Lieutenant Films Production: Cynthia Wade and Vanessa Roth
"La Corona (The Crown)" A Runaway Films and Vega Films Production: Amanda Micheli and Isabel Vega
"Salim Baba" A Ropa Vieja Films and Paradox Smoke Production: Tim Sternberg and Francisco Bello
"Sari's Mother" (Cinema Guild) A Daylight Factory Production: James Longley

Achievement in film editing

"The Bourne Ultimatum" (Universal): Christopher Rouse
"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" (Miramax/Pathé Renn): Juliette Welfling
"Into the Wild" (Paramount Vantage and River Road Entertainment): Jay Cassidy
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage) Roderick Jaynes
"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax): Dylan Tichenor

Best foreign language film of the year

"Beaufort" Israel
"The Counterfeiters" Austria
"Katyn" Poland
"Mongol" Kazakhstan
"12" Russia

Best motion picture of the year

"Atonement" (Focus Features)
"Juno" (Fox Searchlight)
"Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.)
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage)
"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax)

Adapted screenplay

"Atonement" (Focus Features), Screenplay by Christopher Hampton
"Away from Her" (Lionsgate), Written by Sarah Polley
"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" (Miramax/Pathé Renn), Screenplay by Ronald Harwood
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage), Written for the screen by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax), Written for the screen by Paul Thomas Anderson

Original screenplay

"Juno" (Fox Searchlight), Written by Diablo Cody
"Lars and the Real Girl" (MGM), Written by Nancy Oliver
"Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.), Written by Tony Gilroy
"Ratatouille" (Walt Disney), Screenplay by Brad Bird; Story by Jan Pinkava, Jim Capobianco, Brad Bird
"The Savages" (Fox Searchlight), Written by Tamara Jenkins

Now I lay me down to sleep…

2008-01-21T20:24:00.000-08:00

....I pray the WGA doesn’t make me weep.

tomorrow at 5:30am the academy announces the oscar nominees. oscar season is upon us.

please please please please PLEASE resolve the WGA strike before february 24th.

can i get a collective sigh?

S I G H.

ulcers, panic attacks, general hysteria ...

2008-01-13T18:31:00.000-08:00

the globes.
the globes.

first went and pulled out the tv only to discover nbc wasn't broadcasting the globes press conference.

then turned to the internets.

cnn? didn't have the plug-in.

abc? shizzle. had to join their "community"

who saved me?

LA TIMES.

whew.

so winners? losers?

let's recap:
atonement = best pic.
i liked this flick. really. the sound and visuals alone made it for me.

made me want to vomit:
julie.christie - away from her. - best actress.
I HATED this movie.

Juno.
lost big for such a little movie.

what rocked the house?
marion cotillard - la vie en rose. - actress in musical or comedy
i saw this move FOUR times when it was in theatres.
i.love.it.
my favorite flick of the year.

cate blanchett - i'm not there - supporting actress.
she hit it out of the park in this role.

screen writing bits
juno - thank goddess the stripper lost to the well deserved winning siblings the coen brothers. them boys are bad-ass mo-fros.

best foreign matched best director...
diving bell and the butterfly won both.

then there were the TV bits that i can give a crack about since i don't get cable. but good for queen latifah for winning a little something something.

crooked-necked Gemina: 1987-2008

2008-01-11T06:15:00.000-08:00

Santa Barbara Zoo’s crooked-necked giraffe dead at 21

By Associated Press

Santa Barbara Zoo’s crooked-necked giraffe Sweet Gemina has died at 21.

The giraffe, popular with visitors because of crooked-neck abnormality, was euthanized by zoo officials because of declining health, most notably a lack of appetite.

Results of a necropsy won’t be available for weeks, but zoo officials say they don’t believe her ailing health was a result of her neck condition.

Gemina was born in 1986 at the San Diego Wild Animal Park to Ginger and Black Jack, both of them Barring giraffes. Gemina arrived at the Santa Barbara Zoo a year later.

Her crooked neck began appearing around the age of 3. The cause of the abnormality wasn’t known.

You can grieve here

So sad!! I loved that crooked-necked tall bitty.

don't walk away...

2008-01-11T05:28:00.000-08:00

"I've discovered you can't just build something and walk away from it, you have to keep involved to ensure it will be a success."
--Sir Edmund Hillary

I can get behind a statement like that 100%.
So pertinent to:
:: raising my daughter
:: projects i am involved with

Sir Hillary was one righteous dude.

Random bits that synopsize 2007

2008-01-04T05:32:00.000-08:00

:: de abba is visionary
:: de old age is lugubrious
:: de troll is parsimonious
:: de theorists is grandiloquent
:: de coloring is omnipotent

goodbye
:: charles nelson reilly
:: tammy faye baker
:: gehry proteges on motorbikes
:: emotionally retarded asshats formally known as 'husband' or 'boyfriend' or 'lover' (feel free to insert appropriate title)

hello
:: airline travel
:: fine art of chit chat
:: conspiracy
:: brutally honest conversations

the last hours of 2007 were spent in big sur gazing at the sunset, condors, and tons and tons of man-candy.

the early morning hours of 2008 were spent with my girls gone mild crew, laughing, planning and plotting what sort of despots we will become for 2008.

happy 2008.
year of the rat (my year and my kidlette's year)
year of the despot

so many metaphors so little time

2007-12-25T06:07:00.000-08:00

...so i will just say
H A P P Y HOLIDAYS.

the small print:
yes, the holiday cards didn't make it out the door.
i am thinking about thinking maybe sending 'new years' cards.
but i have been battling my inner G R I N C H.
stay tuned for who wins out.

hug / kiss

jiminy fucking cricket!

2007-12-18T05:17:00.000-08:00

the 'booze-laden' golden globes and the oscars are probably kaput.

but who will save me?
alec.
alec baldwin.

all i want for xmas...

2007-12-14T05:01:00.000-08:00

dear santa:

1. please end the writer's strike so that the world can have the goodness that only the golden globes and oscar's can bring.

2. a little corrugated box filled with conspiracy. oops, wait already got that:

3. a special song to sing this holiday season:

powered by ODEO

No love for Julie

2007-12-11T05:11:00.000-08:00

Conversational hazards of telephone support:

Customer service agent: Amtrak customer support how can I help you?

Me: Hello, I would like to voice a complaint about one of your ticket agents.

Customer service agent: Amtrak prides itself in the best possible customer service; I will be more than happy to…

Me: look all I want to say is that the ticket agent - Julie, who answers calls for the status of trains is condescending.

Customer service agent: But she is computerized.

Me: No, I said con.de.scen.ding

Customer service agent: You don't get it, Julie is an automated ticket agent, a computerized automated voice system.

Me: Whatever, all I am saying is that she was totally incompetent and snarky. Not getting it, asking me to constantly repeat myself.
Julie: “ I didn't understand. Please say "Schedule." “ I still didn't get that.” “I'm having trouble understanding you.”

Customer service agent: BUT SHE IS an interactive voice response agent!

Me: she is an interactive nincompoop!

Customer service agent: [click.]

2007 is ending on a high note....

2007-12-08T22:13:00.000-08:00

seeing andrew bird helped.
(please excuse my horrible attempt at video)

Changing landscape

2007-11-27T04:00:00.000-08:00

:: Start ::

Earthquakes, global warming, carbon footprints, as well as any number of topographic complexities, or climatic variabilities can bring about a change.

But the changing landscape I am thinking of is the change in relationships brought on by dissipating friendships, long lost lovers, disinterest, and death just to highlight a few. The landscape looks different. There are bits missing, new bits, old bits.

The landscape around me has been changing slowly, swiftly, unexpectedly.

Changes like people (and by people I really mean assholes*) i no longer want to be around…
friends who are no longer at arms length for geographic reasons…
family dismembers (and by family members I really mean people*,) who are no longer in the frame…
and true FAMILY and friends who have left this earth for celestial travels I can not even imagine.

So the landscape changed right before thanksgiving. My gramps died.
Nothing.
More nothing.
Then tears.
Tears.
Tears.
More tears.

I miss his voice. His energy. His traditions. He was a little Mexican man with such a big passion for family and his culture.

I am in a true blue funk that is gonna take a lot to recover from. But I am trying.

:: End ::

potty mouth

2007-11-15T05:33:00.000-08:00

Psssst. internets.

can we discuss some intimacies of life?
the behind-closed-door topics everyone is so uncomfortable to discuss?

yes?
no?
yes?

topic:
:: people who take shits in the workplace public restroom ::
i know i know. toilets are meant for this sort of business.

but.
butt.
can't you take care of this at home?

i mean, walking into an unventilated restroom and being slammed in the head with a scent so foul, just makes for an unpleasant work environment.

seriously. human resources may have to get involved.

am i so wrong?
discuss.

invasion of the pod people

2007-11-13T04:15:00.000-08:00

grasshopper, when you start to hear voices -- listen.

um, where to begin?

first a letter:
Nov. 11, 2007 2:00am
Dear George M., recent transplant from Jersey to Los Angeles of Greek descent;

It was a pleasure meeting you at the Dresden Lounge. Your command for all things RiteAid was very entertaining. You entranced us with your stories of fake boobs, Sylvester Stallone, and your spiritual connection with Mark Wahlberg.

We were so entranced, that when we slipped out without saying goodbye, it was because we hate goodbyes and we weren't trying to run to our car and speed away without looking back because we think you are a nutter, and i mean that in the most loving way.

Signed,
us

Second, i hear old people:
So, i was visiting my grandparents over the weekend and was sitting next to my gramps, when i thought i was going out of my mind.
I kept hearing V O I C E S.

I finally had to ask them to turn the TV off and stop talking and just listen.
Shhhhh.
Do you hear that?
Shhhhh.
That.
Is it...
a
radio?
A RADIO.
Do you hear that?
I hear a radio!
It is coming from around you gramps.
Wait.
Shhhh.
Hear that?
I think...
I think...
it is coming from around your head.

So, like my gramps just got new dentures and they are transmitting a spanish-language radio program from inside is mouth.
IN
SIDE
HIS
MOUTH

Apparently he has been hearing it for weeks.

ouch.

fritos: a discussion

2007-11-09T05:09:00.000-08:00

hello poppets.

yes, i've been tardy (read: tawdry) lately in the blogliness. i've been busy.
comings and goings, lots of bits to keep track of.

first bit:
can we discuss fritos?
i love them.
1. they are crunchy heaven.
2. they only have three ingredients.
3. they are vegan. (although i am not)

other bits:
i am training to run a marathon. (highly possible that it gets downgraded to half-marathon)
:: getting up every morning at 4:30am hitting the gym... and every evening after work.

it is also highly possible that i will fail miserably, or run the race dressed as elvis--- but eh, failure is fabulous. i will keeps you updated.

misc. bits:
:: i love this song.
link is just the lyrics, but the song reminds me of a certain someone. i am in a reminiscing sort of mood, poppets.

explainer

2007-10-24T16:26:00.000-07:00

CNN has a lot of explaining to do:

but before i could ferociously make fun of them and send the link to all my peeps, they fixed it:

in all seriousness, please let it rain soon.

the lost art of occupational hazards

2007-10-11T20:52:00.000-07:00

The Hyphen
along with the "H" on my keyboard...the Hyphen has become obsolete.

Please say it ain't so.

God-Damn it! (or is it God Damn it?)

The Page-Turner*
The life of a page-turner is so hollywood.
"Grab Page, wait for nod, turn page fast!"

*or is it page "no hyphen" turner?

Recent itinerary

2007-09-26T05:36:00.000-07:00

Pssst. Poppets.

Recently back from the dead only to return to the undead.

Here are a few recent updates:

:: Contemplated opening a dialog about Europeans.

:: Got an answer to a frequent question: “what the hell is up with swiss banks?”

:: Received a recent apology: “I am sorry your gay guy friend is in rehab and mine is backstage singing judy garland with rufus wainwright.”

:: post_it art involves skills such as…
-- math.
-- patience.

Neither of which I possess.

googlie googlie

2007-09-20T05:54:00.000-07:00

recent bits of googling

:: hazards of microwaving pizza in foil

:: archangel raphael

:: inca empire

bits from a conversation...

2007-09-18T05:05:00.000-07:00

me:
sorry i can't make it to your party.
was past life regressed over the weekend.
all my issues stem back 26 generations to the inca empire.
until i resolve my past self with
the inca's i am left unresolved in this life.
lots of work ahead of me.

d u d e .

2007-09-11T05:44:00.000-07:00

dudeism is real in america.

creative! read: sell out!

2007-09-07T00:23:00.000-07:00

no, really.

lame.major.sell.out.

read the fine print.

Raising children, raising hell + a bonus feature

2007-08-28T05:22:00.000-07:00

Getting ready for the first day of sixth grade wasn’t easy. There was hairspray involved, lip-gloss, Bobbie pins, outfit changes, backpacks, sack lunch, and a sixth grade attitude.

I created this sweet monster with the giant attitude. I encouraged her civil disobedience, I supported ditching school for harry potter and pirates. I role modeled the correct way to raise hell. So I guess I can put up with the eye rolling but it was painful when she responded “NO WAY, HOW embarrassing!” when I offered to walk her to her classroom. My little kidlette is now officially a pre-teen.

+ bonus feature +
Psssst. Poppets.
Have you ever had that dream about brad pitt. You know THE dream.
THE dream where you are fiercely tooling away for the man at work -- underappreciated, underpaid and suddenly who walks in? BRAD PITT.
Just.
Walks.
In.
Off.
The.
Street.

And then he tells you how fabulous you are
and
you and he walk away arm-in-arm happily ever after?

Oh.
Poppets.
Wish me luck tomorrow. Because my dreams might come true.
(I can’t spill the beans, ‘cause it is a secret. But oh, is it delicious!)

BREAKING NEWS

2007-08-21T12:44:00.000-07:00

kidlette is currently in morro bay protesting this aquarium and their inability to care for the sea life in their custody.

she created protest buttons, signs, and a petition.

SO PROUD.

Mother of invention

2007-08-09T20:58:00.000-07:00

Pssst. Poppets. The intellectual center of the world was formed in my backyard.

Here is how righteously cool my smallness of a towness was.

:: The bra? Got it’s start here in slo county.
patent:1167741

:: The flyswatter? [read: insect beater]
Those flies never knew what hit them, but they remember who! [Whusssup Willard W. Kester from 1917]
patent:1225971

:: Not local but I can see where he was going with it.

cork swimsuit
patent:267799

addiction

2007-08-01T20:29:00.000-07:00

i have a little addiction.

just a little one.

well maybe five.

i am addicted to abs fab aka AbFab.

season one all the way through to season five are online.

O N L I N E !

i need rehab.

rehab, poppets. r e h a b.

should i stay or should i go now?

2007-07-15T06:22:00.000-07:00

:: the clash
:: blondie
:: tom tom club
:: the fixx

what do these bands have in commons besides the 80s?

they are all bands whose lyrics we will be singing around the campfire.

wish me luck poppets, i will be camping for a bit at the beach.

"Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go there will be trouble
An' if I stay it will be double
So come on and let me know..."

one for the wank bank

2007-07-14T06:29:00.000-07:00

conversations amongst friends:

...then he asks "are you flexible?" and i was all "do you mean emotionally or physically?"
and his nickname? "Big-rig" and no, he doesn't drive a semi-truck.

ouch.

who what where why

2007-07-08T20:53:00.001-07:00

reading:
seven types of ambiguity, by william empson

eating:
lots of seaweed salad

drinking:
yerba mate

listening:
young mc
http://www.thenever.org/

saying:
http://justsayyes.org/
http://www.justsayno.org/
http://www.maybe.org/

keeping:
http://keepitpg.com/home.html

collecting:
http://www.iamnotafraidofyouandiwillbeatyourass.com/

looking:
http://www.iamaturtle.org/

selling:
http://www.humanforsale.com/

terrifying:
http://www.iamfuckingterrified.com/

Breaking News

2007-07-06T05:29:00.000-07:00

What small towns classify as 'breaking news' ::

Posted on Thu, Jul. 05, 2007

Man in porta-potty struck by SUV

"A Grover Beach man using a porta-potty at Pismo Beach was struck by a sport-utility-vehicle.

David Fear, 56, said he was stunned and momentarily knocked unconscious when the driver of an SUV ran into the portable toilet he was using in a parking lot at the Pismo Beach Pier around 1:30 p.m. Wednesday.

Driver Terrance Sterling, 17, of Sunnyvale, accidentally put his car into reverse instead of drive and backed into a curb and the toilet, pushing the lavatory, police said. Fear said it was pushed about 10 feet.

“You could hear the scooting of a porta-potty on the ground,” said Pismo Beach Police Sgt. Steve Weir, who was nearby when the accident happened. “The guy inside bumped his head.”

Sterling was not cited.

Fear complained of pain to his head and back, but he was not seriously injured."

V O M I T

2007-07-02T15:14:00.000-07:00

vomit vomit vomit

"Bush, who was under great pressure by Libby allies to pardon the former chief of staff, said that by commuting Libby's sentence he is still leaving "harsh" punishment in place."

Why everything you read here is utter bullshit

2007-06-29T05:23:00.000-07:00

“What the Web 2.0 revolution is really delivering is superficial observations of the world around us rather than deep analysis, shrill opinion rather than considered judgment.” In his view Web 2.0 is changing the cultural landscape and not for the better. By undermining mainstream media and intellectual property rights, he says, it is creating a world in which we will “live to see the bulk of our music coming from amateur garage bands, our movies and television from glorified YouTubes, and our news made up of hyperactive celebrity gossip, served up as mere dressing for advertising.” This is what happens, he suggests, “when ignorance meets egoism meets bad taste meets mob rule.”

-- Andrew Keen author of The Cult of the Amateur

small conversations that become creative bits

2007-06-28T05:31:00.000-07:00

When a fifteen-minute exchange with a complete stranger on my nyc trip becomes an anti-drug campaign.

see his portfolio here.

Save the date

2007-06-26T05:22:00.000-07:00

July 11th.

Important for two reasons:

Reason one::
siesta awareness day

Reason two::
free slurpees on July 11th at all 7-11s.

Hateship

2007-06-25T05:58:00.000-07:00

Was just thinking about people. And by “people” I really mean scumbags.

You know the type.

The ones with giant egos thinly veiled behind spirituality, or their quest for humanity, or their so called "art."

The ones who are always the first to toot their own horns.

The ones who shower you with praise thinly veiled as really soliciting praise for themselves. Ego. Ego. Ego.

I was thinking about Clark.

You know as in “Lewis and Clark.”

Why wasn’t history recording their partnership as “Clark and Lewis?”

CLARK and Lewis.

Because I bet Lewis was an aforementioned scumbag and took all the glory, whilst Clark probably did all the real work. He recorded their explorations for fuck’s sake. I mean with a first name of “Meriwether” Lewis had to be a scumbag.

Yo, yo, yo, yo, baby-pop: push it

2007-06-22T05:03:00.000-07:00

can't breathe.

too.
excited.

thank you goddesses of everything hip hop.

salt-n-pepa are back. Mmm. push it.

colloquialisms

2007-06-19T05:08:00.000-07:00

barf
throw up
spew
vomit
hack
up chuck
chuck
hurl
puke
ralph
snarf
spew
toss

twinkies,
snickers,
cornnuts,
circus animal cookies,
raspberry sorbet,
really really really old Halloween candy,
and
strawberry wafers

What is every mother’s nightmare?
Try this one:
Waking up in the middle of deep sleep to the sounds of harsh baritone melodies of two girls barfing their guts out.

Pssst. Internets.
I am about to be gross.
Stop.
Reading.
Here.
If you have a weak disposition.

I woke up to a room filled with florescent pink vomit.
Vomit every.where

My kidlette and her cousin took it upon themselves to eat every last bit of junk food in my house within a span of 30 minutes. Junk food that I didn’t even know existed within my cupboards. (Okay, so I may have purchased the twinkies, cornnuts, and raspberry sorbet, but strawberry wafers? Where the hell did those come from?)

So, I spent my regularly scheduled sleeping hours cleaning up vomit.

Ah, youth. So sweet.

2007-06-11T05:53:00.000-07:00

Bits that I found G U T wrenchingly funny
this weekend:

bit one:
advice from friend:
“Don’t feed the bears”
(in reference to placing too much attention to
asshats who do not deserve your attention.)

bit two:
New word to add to my pocket Merriam-Webster
Unabridged Dictionary:

star•chi•tect, n.
Somebody whose job it is to design overrated
buildings, and who possesses a ginourmous ego,
and
who bores the hell out of you.

here. and here. and here.

2007-06-06T05:06:00.000-07:00

except when you behave in a bad bad way, and make an ass of yourself in front of a bunch of people, resulting in the performance bits of your “performance art” missing a step, and you won’t look my direction the entire time, because you keep thinking about how I called you a c*nt earlier, and how you deserved to be called that word, in every sense of that word.
Pssst.
I belong here.
And here.
And here.
And oh, yes…here.

Natural History of the Dazed and Abused

2007-05-22T22:42:00.000-07:00

People (and by "people" i really mean "asshats, fat fucks, and fuck tards") ...People with one item in the checkout line at the grocery store…who give you the stare down.

You know the one.

The one where they glance at their one item, then your large basket of a millions items, then back at their one item, shrugging their shoulders and really stating and not asking if they can go ahead of you in line… FUCK TARD.

Because inevitably they pay with a check and the register jams, and their one item requires a price check.

All the while another fat fuck comes up to the line with their ONE item, commencing with the same one-item-stare-down bullshit all over again.

And you look like the asshole because you already let fuck tard cut in line and there is now way in hell you are going to let this fat fuck cut in line.

Breathe.